The gospel of John has a trick ending. Or you might call it a typical preacher ending. When he sounds like he’s finally winding things up and about to give the invitation, you know you don’t reach for the song book yet. You might as well get comfortable, because he’s never done as soon as you think. John’s gospel seems to draw to a close at the end of chapter 20 where He says, “Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.” Doesn’t that sound like a conclusion? He says, “I could say a lot more, but I’ve said enough to accomplish my purpose.” It’s easy to imagine the curtain closing at that point. But all of the sudden the curtain rises again for one last scene. Some think the last chapter was an appendix later tacked on to the end. I prefer to see the seeming ending into a final scene as John’s way of drawing special attention to this last scene.
Why this last chapter when the book seemed to be over? I think because many of John’s readers, including some among us, are so much like Peter was. I have several real people in mind as I preach this sermon, some in this room, some I hope will listen to this online. I have my self years ago in mind when I needed this.
Peter’s Failure
At the last supper in the upper room, John 13:37, when Jesus had told His disciples He was leaving and they could not come with Him yet, Peter said to Him, “Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.”
Was there a time in your life when you would have said the same thing as Peter? For some I’m thinking of it was back when they were in college in a great Christian college group. For others it was when they were a new Christian, newly experiencing the wonder of His grace and presence and the wisdom of His word. Was there a time when you were full of devotion and felt close to Him and prayed regularly and enjoyed Bible study and being with Christians and were active in service? Some I’m thinking of used to teach Bible class on occasion, used to be vital parts of things like VBS and clothing drives and gathering the youth together in their home. Was there a time when you would have meant it when we sing, “You’re my friend and You are my brother, Even though you are a king. I love you more than any other, So much more than anything.” But did you find, like Peter, that you did not really know yourself, you were weaker than you thought.
Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times.” Peter couldn’t believe that. No way would he ever deny Jesus.
They left the upper room that night, crossed the Kidron valley to the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus asked them to keep watch for Him and pray for themselves that they not enter into temptation. He went a stone’s throw away and cried and prayed. A band of soldiers and officers came with lanterns, torches and weapons, led by Judas. Peter was determined to prove the loyalty he promised and that he was no coward. When they were about to arrest Jesus, Peter took out a sword and swung it to split open somebody’s head. The guy ducked and so Peter just sliced off his ear. Jesus said, “Stop! No more of this! Peter, put your sword away. Don’t you know I could appeal to My Father and at once have at my disposal more than 12 legions of angels if I wanted to fight.” He picked up the guy’s ear and restored it back on his head. Peter was bewildered. He did not understand what was happening and why Jesus would not fight. Peter had all these misconceptions about the Messiah and thought He would establish His kingdom like David of old through war and defeating the enemies of God’s people. Jesus was not doing what Peter thought Jesus should be doing. I think it shook his faith a bit.
Was it that your faith was shaken by unexpected events? By a disease, injury, a church conflict, bereavement, marriage trouble? Did a hypocritical bunch of Christians cause doubts in your heart? That is an opportune time for Satan to tempt you.
Peter followed the mob at a distance to the court of the high priest, wanting to see what was going to happen, shaking his head, thinking, “I do not understand Him, for the life of me! What is He doing? How can He allow this?” He wandered into enemy territory, but thought he was going unnoticed. Then a slave girl at the entrance caught him off guard. She said, “Hey, aren’t you one of that man’s disciples?” His faith was struggling at the moment. He reacted. “No! I don’t know that man.” I imagine right afterward, Peter couldn’t believe he just did that. He never imagined he would be a denier. Have you been there, so disappointed in yourself, having a hard time believing what you just said or did?
It’s a vulnerable place to be because once you’ve failed a test, you don’t have as much motivation to do well on the rest of the test, because no matter what you do now, you are a failure. You know, if you’ve already done the drugs once, if you’ve already failed in that area, it’s easy to just continue in that a little longer. If you’ve already gone too far with that person, it’s easy to continue to do so. If you’ve already blown up and said things you shouldn’t have to someone, then it’s easy to continue to say things you shouldn’t to them. Sin so easily has a snowball effect. So when Peter goes over to the group around the charcoal fire to stay warm while he waits to see the outcome of Jesus’ trial and someone again says, “Hey, aren’t you one of His disciples,” since he’s already a failure, it’s taken it out of him to be strong, so he does it again. “No. I don’t know that man.” Now he’s doubly a failure. So now even when the people around him are pretty sure he’s a disciple of Jesus, somebody says, “Didn’t I see you in the garden with Him? You even have a Galilean accent like Him,” not even then does he confess. He curses and swears he does not know Jesus.
Then we read that the rooster crowed. It reminded Peter of Jesus’ prediction that he would do what he just did. He looked over at Jesus and saw Jesus looking at him. Oh, it must have crushed him! He knew he had hurt and disappointed the Lord who had been so good to him. It says he went out and wept bitterly.
Did you become a failure of a disciple for a time in your life? Did you fall away, turn your back on Him, deny your love for Him by your actions?
Guilt and shame can become a crippling burden.
I think often people do not realize the toll unresolved guilt is having on them and how it is debilitating them. I read a few articles about the effects of guilt. There can be some positive effects. It can drive us to change or try to reconcile the relationship we messed up or try to make up for what we did. But carrying guilt very long is harmful to us in about every way.
For our bodily health… Guilt releases stress chemicals that make you more likely to experience headaches and back pain. Guilt contributes to cardiovascular disease, gastrointestinal disorders, insomnia and can have a negative impact on your immune system. (https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/is-guilt-getting-best-of-you#2)
Emotionally it certainly contributes to depression and anxiety.
Mentally… one article said guilt is like having a snooze alarm in your head that won’t shut off. You find it difficult to concentrate on things for long because there are these periodic bursts of guilty feelings and thoughts of your failure. So productivity and creativity and efficiency all decrease with feelings of guilt.
There’s all kinds of behavioral effects that may result. Not all bad. A lot of times guilty feeling people want to sort of balance out what they did by helping others. But sometimes they may want to sort of punish themselves, or not allow themselves to enjoy things or to succeed. Some, since guilt is painful, may turn to ice cream, alcohol, binge watching a new TV series, things that make them feel better for a moment. Of course that’s part of a downward spiral, because self-indulgence only results in more guilt. Sometimes to feel better people start blaming others for their actions and situation. “It’s not really my fault. If they wouldn’t have done that… if I had his or her circumstances I wouldn’t have this problem.” Remember Adam in the beginning, “It was that woman you gave me.” And Eve, “It was the serpent. He deceived me.” But passing the blame often does not relieve us of the guilt, because deep down we still know we were responsible for our choices.
And guilt makes you literally feel heavier and more belabored. It has the effects on you of carrying extra weight, so everything requires significantly more effort. It’s why if a Christian is carrying a burden of guilt they’re likely not as involved and active in spiritual matters as they once were.
Many a Christian, like Peter must have, bear a debilitating burden of guilt. I think that’s why the gospel of John does not end with chapter 20. There’s one more scene because our Lord Jesus has amazing grace. Even if after pledging our loyalty, we failed Him, fell into a streak of sin and denial, even if we are extra unworthy, I guarantee you He still wants to relieve us of all our guilt and shame. It is the reason for John 21. It is the reason for II Samuel 11-12 that tells David’s fall into adultery, lying, murder, but then how he found forgiveness and restoration with God. “The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance,” says Paul in I Timothy 1:15, “that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.”
Jesus’ Appearance at the Sea of Tiberias
John 21. It’s after His resurrection. Jesus has appeared to the disciples a couple times now. So they know He’s alive, but He’s not staying with them. He’d appear to them, talk to them for a bit and then leave. The disciples have gone back to their home area of Galilee. I think it’s been a few days since they’ve seen Jesus, and I think they’re not sure what to do now. So Peter says, “Well guys, I’m going to go fishing.” Six others said, “Yeah, why not? We’ll come with you.” The best fishing by net was at night when the fish were up closer to the surface to feed. They went out in a boat and fished all night and strangely caught nothing.
As the sun was beginning to rise over the horizon there was this man standing on the shoreline about a hundred yards away, too far to really make out who he was. The man called out, “Hey boys, have you caught anything?” They said, “No! We haven’t caught a thing all night!” He said, “Well, cast your net on the right-side of the boat, there’s fish over there.” Of course that makes no sense at all. How does this guy know there’s fish over there? But they decide to play along. Why not give it one more cast before they head in? Immediately they caught so many fish they couldn’t pull the net up! John stated the obvious, “It’s the Lord!”
You know, Jesus did this same miracle on the same lake one other time. Do you remember when it was? It was the occasion when He first called Peter to leave fishing and follow Him and become a fisher of men. It was another morning after Peter had fished all night and caught nothing. He was cleaning his nets on shore. Jesus came, crowds came. Jesus used his boat as a pulpit to do some teaching. Then afterward He said, “Peter, let’s go out in the deep water and you throw in your nets and let’s catch some fish.” Peter said, “Are you kiddin’? You know I just fished all night and didn’t catch anything, and I’ve already cleaned the nets.” “I know. Let’s try it anyway.” “Okay.” So they go out in the deep water. Peter takes his clean nets and throws them in. Immediately he’s got fish! He’s got fish galore! He’s got so many fish he can’t pull the net up. The boat’s leaning over and the net’s starting to tear. It’s like every fish in the lake is trying to squeeze in. He calls his buddies James and John to get in a boat and come help him. They somehow manage to get the net up and pour the fish into the boats. The weight of the fish almost sinks the boats. There, Peter realized Jesus is so close with God that God’s power is at His command. And Peter, at that time, carried a burden of guilt and shame. He fell down on the deck of the boat at Jesus’ feet and said, “Go away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man!” He felt unworthy to even be in His presence, let alone to be His friend. Jesus said, “It’s alright. Don’t be afraid. Follow Me and I will make you a fisher of men.” (Luke 5:1-11)
Same miracle happens again when Peter is again carrying a burden of guilt and shame. This time Peter doesn’t throw himself on the deck of the boat because Jesus isn’t on the boat. Rather he first puts his clothes on so he’s more respectable to Jesus. Then he throws himself into the water and swims to shore. The others row the boat to shore, dragging the net along. And there’s Jesus sitting on the shore cooking breakfast over a charcoal fire… a charcoal fire. Anthrakia in Greek. The word occurs only one other time in all the NT, and that one other place is John 18:18, referring to the charcoal fire in the courtyard of the high priest at which Peter denied Jesus. I imagine the charcoal fire brought the unpleasant memories of that night rushing back into Peter’s mind. I think John mentions “charcoal fire” to remind us of Peter’s denial, because he wants us to see something glorious about Jesus here if we have been like Peter.
At the shore Jesus did not tell Peter to get lost. Jesus did not stare at him in anger. Jesus said, “Bring some of those fish over here and come eat with me.” Peter ran over to the net and drug it up on the beach. The occasion was so memorable to old John as he wrote about it he remembered how many fish they counted out of the net, 153. And remarkably the net did not tear like it did the first time this happened. They all ate fish and bread together. The disciples, I’m sure, were just flabbergasted, they were eating breakfast with Jesus who they saw die.
Jesus’ Conversation with Peter
After breakfast Jesus turned His attention to Peter in particular. Jesus said to Him, “Simon, son of John, [Uh oh. Remember when your mom would use your full name? When I heard “James Patrick Williams” I knew we were about to have a serious conversation. Simon, son of John…] do you love Me more than these?” What did He mean by that? Who are “these”? Some think He means “Do you love me more than these other disciples like you claimed to before? That may be what He means. Or He may mean “Simon, like when I first called you to follow me, do you love me more than these fish? Do you love me enough to again leave fishing behind to follow Me?”
If you’ve disappointed Jesus and yourself, I hope you are hearing this with these three understandings. Number one, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever,” says Hebrews 13:8. Number two, He shows no partiality or favoritism. We won’t find Him different toward us than how He was toward Peter. And number three, He is here. John 14-16, when Jesus was telling His disciples He was leaving them, one of the things He wanted to assure them of was that though they won’t see Him visibly, that doesn’t mean He is not present. He will always be with them, even in them. If you’ve disappointed Jesus and yourself, recognize the same Jesus is here and looking at you and listening to the thoughts of your heart. This scene on the shore between Jesus and Peter, is what’s happening now with you and Jesus. The question for you is the same. Do you love Jesus?
Peter said, “Yes, Lord; You know I love You.” In the Greek text he even uses a different word for love (though he probably wasn’t talking with Jesus in Greek. They were probably talking in Aramic, but John wrote the story in Greek). Jesus said, “Do you agape me?” Peter said, “Yes Lord, You know I phileo You.” Phileo is the sort of love that family members or close friends have for each other. Do you love Jesus like that?
When Peter affirmed he did, Jesus said to him, “Feed My lambs.” Do you know what that means? That means definitely, for one, “It isn’t over between us, Peter.” It also means, ” Don’t think, just because you failed for a time, that you’re not cut out for serving in any big way. Don’t think because you failed you can’t try again and that you should leave it to others and go back to your fishing career. I still want you to feed My lambs, to be a shepherd of My people.” Even triple failures, Jesus can make into great servants and leaders and do great things with them. He’s inviting Peter, and maybe you, to embrace His forgiveness and lay down your guilt and shame and pick up where you left off with Him. Get back to learning, following, serving.
Interestingly, Jesus said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep. Let’s pick up where we left off. Don’t think you can’t do it.” He said to him a third time, “Simon, son of John, do You love Me?” “Lord, You’re breaking my heart. You know everything. You know I love You.” “Feed my sheep.”
I think I know why He asked him three times. It’s because he denied Him three times. It was Jesus’ way of allowing Peter to retract each of his three denials. This is Jesus’ gracious invitation to Peter to be reconciled with Him, to restore their relationship to what it was before, through simply reaffirming his love for Him and committing himself to serve as Jesus called Him to. And Jesus is doing the same with you if you are weighed down with guilt.
I think, to help Peter with doubts he must have been having about being the courageous servant Jesus wanted him to be, Jesus shares with Peter a little insight about how he will die in the future. “Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” 19 (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me.” I think it is to help Peter realize, “You can and you will be courageous and faithful for me.” Jesus’ words would be fulfilled when, according to early church writings, for his faith and testimony , Peter was sentenced in Rome to crucifixion. Peter requested he be crucified upside down because he didn’t consider himself worthy to die in the same manner as Jesus. Jesus was right though, Peter was weak and failed, but he would be transformed. And so can every one of us, who say from our hearts “Lord Jesus, I love you and I want to try this again and become who you want me to be.”
Well, Peter was at first a bit troubled by Jesus’ prediction. They were apparently walking and talking together at this point. Peter turned around and saw John following them and said to Jesus, “Lord what about him? Are you just picking on me? Or does he have to die for you too?” Jesus said, “If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!”
John remembered the occasion vividly and bears witness that this is truly how the risen Lord Jesus is. He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in lovingkindness and faithfulness, keeping lovingkindness for thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression and sin.
You know Peter asked Jesus one time, how many times should he forgive a brother who has sinned against him? Peter was thinking maybe seven times would be the righteous limit. And do you remember Jesus’ answer? “Try more like 70 times 7,” 490 times, if you want to be real literal about it. And Jesus was not a preacher who wouldn’t practice what He preached.
Have you sinned against Jesus 490 times? Say “Lord Jesus, I am sorry. I do love You. I’m going to try to follow You again.” And He’ll do for you what He did for Peter. Accept you, welcome you, love you, help you by His Spirit, use you in the world and His church.
You can embrace His mercy and forgiveness in place of your guilt and shame as He wants you to. You can get back to joyfully following and learning from Him, becoming like Him and being a blessing to everyone around you.
-James Williams