You know it can be an awkward moment when someone tells another for the first time “I love you.” It’s a statement that demands a response. And if the feeling isn’t mutual, how can one respond in a way that doesn’t break the heart of the other. I found several examples on the internet this last week of responses people have received when they finally built up the nerve to tell someone, “I love you.”
For instance, one young lady said to a young man, “I love you” and he said, “Take it back”… Well, that’d be kind of crushing.
There was a guy who said “I love you” to a young lady and she said, “Wait… why?”
Another girl said to a guy “I love you” and he said, “And I love spending time with you!” (That wasn’t quite what she was hoping for, I’m sure.)
Somebody else said, “I love you” and the reply was, “Thank you?” I guess that’s better than just saying, “Okay.”
One young lady told the man of her dreams, “I love you,” and he said, “I love me too.”
Then there was a fella really laying it out there to a young lady and said “I love you” and she said, “Oh… no…”
Another guy told a girl “I love you” and she said, “That’s sweet.”
Another response was, “I wish I loved you.” Ouch!
And then one poor fella opened up about his feelings and said, “I love you” and the response was just maniacal laughing.
Well, what do we do when the God who made us says to us with all His heart, “I love you. I immensely love you”?
That’s really what has happened. In case you haven’t heard that clearly from God, I want to first point out…
Some ways God has told you He loves you
He often tells people of His love for them in personal ways. For some it’s in delivering them when they call on him in a time of trouble or it may be amazing “coincidences” in their life they know is God’s activity.
But there are some ways He has told all of us, “I love you.” According to Acts 14 the apostles Paul and Barnabas were among a bunch of pagans in Lystra and they told them that though they and their forefathers had been serving other gods, the Creator of heaven and earth and all things whom they have not been serving has been showing His love for them by giving them rain from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying their hearts with food and gladness. So rain and fruitful seasons and provisions and tasty food, the delightful things of God’s creation and the bodies we have to enjoy them, is no phenomenal accident. It’s kindness from God who made us because he loves us. And God didn’t have to make things so beautiful or give us eyes to see it. He didn’t have to make the birds sound so good or make things smell so good. He didn’t have to make so much for us to discover and enjoy and continue to allow us to enjoy after we have sinned against Him. But He did because He actually loves us.
Now His affections are not the same for everyone. Many passages of scripture speak of a special love He has for those who repent and serve Him in their lives. Psalm 103:11, “For as high as the heavens are above earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him.” Some people in the Bible are clearly loved, especially loved. But everyone that God has created, He loves. Though they may have strayed far from Him and made a mess of their lives, He’s the father of the prodigal son, waiting, longing, for His son to come to his senses and come back to Him and He will embrace them without any hesitation and rejoice in their salvation.
Romans 5:8 speaks of the strongest expression of God’s love for all of us. It says, “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ [the King, the Son of God, God in the flesh] died for us.” “In this the love of God was made manifest among us,” says I John 4:9, “that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation [the atoning sacrifice] for our sins.”
Have you thought deeply about the cross and what love was shown there? Can you imagine watching your child be tortured, his lifeblood flowing into the dirt as they relentlessly beat him, hearing his cries and agony? How much would you have to love people to let that go on and on and on for their sake, when they’re the ones who deserve it? What out of this world love must one have to pray for his evil tormentors, “Father forgive them for they do not know what they doing?” What love must He have for us, to be able to call 12 legions of angels at any moment and have relief, but did not? Because He would rather suffer Himself than see us suffer. What love must He have for us, to keep choosing to suffer, to keep choosing to receive another stripe, another wound, another insult, another nail, another hour of pain, and to keep choosing suffering again and again?
I believe if you were the only person on earth, He would have done that for you, because Paul says in Ephesians 3:19, “…the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge [or beyond comprehension]…” Do you realize He did that for you? He loves us more than we can wrap our minds around.
I suspect the two most common reasons people doubt God’s love for them is feeling too unworthy of it, or tragedy or suffering in life. To help us with the first, the Lord has saved people like Saul of Tarsus. You think you’ve sinned too much. What’s the worst thing somebody could do to you? Hurt your kids, right? Saul was beating and imprisoning and voting for the execution of God’s children. But Saul who became known as the apostle Paul, wrote in I Timothy 1:15, “The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. 16 But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in Him for eternal life.” He says Jesus Christ saved him so that other people who have messed up big time and sinned horribly and are very unworthy, would realize that Jesus wants to save even them, if they just repent and trust Him.
And concerning tragedy and suffering in life, which causes many to doubt God’s love for them, God says a lot of things. We learn in His word that some bad things are because He’s given to us and to beings in the spirit realm, free will and allows us His creatures to exercise their free will. So sometimes people and beings you can’t see do terrible things to people. But Psalm 103:6 says, “The LORD works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed.” He tells us that He pays attention and keeps track of what’s happened to each of us, and for every victim of oppression or injustice God will make it up to them, He will work righteousness for them, He will compensate them somehow with blessings. God tells us He sometimes allows struggles because He’s like a wise father who disciplines his children that He loves. God knows that sometimes the temporary struggle will have everlasting benefits in how it will humble us, turn us to God or refine our character. He tells us in Romans 8:18 that if we respond to Him as we should “the sufferings of this present life are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”
He doesn’t always make it clear to us the reasons behind every case of suffering. But in very plain terms He assures us that despite the evil and suffering we see in the world, He loves us. He really really loves us.
Now, how do you respond? Sadly too many basically say, “Thanks.” Or, “That’s sweet?” Or “I like you God. How about we meet and hang out together on Sundays?” I want to invite you to turn with me to Romans 12, where the apostle Paul explains…
The sensible response to God’s love.
Romans 12:1 “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God [which means the following command is based on the amazing mercies of God that Paul has been explaining in the first 11 chapters of Romans. This is how we ought to respond to what God has done for us through Jesus and the salvation and relationship and future that He wants with us.], to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” Notice the statement at the end of the verse. In my Bible it’s translated “which is your spiritual worship.” The word in the Greek text that some versions translate as spiritual, literally means reasonable or rational or logical. And it makes better sense to me to translate it that way. I believe Paul is saying this is the logical, reasonable response to the love of God. If you have good rational sense this is how you respond to God’s love.
How does He say we should respond? He says basically we should give to God our bodies. It’s nothing complicated. It’s very simple, very practical, very physical, very radical. We are to put our bodies on the altar of service to Him. We owe this to Him. Christ gave His body for us. We owe Him ours. But it shouldn’t seem like a sacrifice on our part, because if you understand the amazing love of God, then you realize that He will direct your body way better than you ever would.
You know under the Old Covenant, when a worshiper placed an animal on the altar of sacrifice, then they no longer owned that animal. When the animal was put on the altar that animal belonged to God. And so when we do what Paul is saying we ought to do here, we will no longer own our bodies. We will see them as belonging to God. We will no longer decide where to go, what to say with our mouths, or do with our hands, what to wear, whether we keep our body alive or let it be killed. Those are God’s decisions now. Your body is His property. You let Him do what He wants with your body. It’s really a vivid metaphor for complete wholehearted repentance, it turning away from self-pleasing, self-will, from doing your own thing, making your own decisions, to let God make your decisions and do things God’s way. And Paul says that is the logical response to the amazing love God has for us.
The next command about how we ought to respond to God’s love is, “Do not be conformed to this world.” Most people are way off course in the way they think about God and life and their priorities and values and how they talk and behave. We are not to conform. We are to be radically different from most people in the world.
Do not conform, “but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” The way to not conform and live in a God honoring way is to change the way we think. The way we think determines the way we live. You cannot think wrong and live right. And you cannot think right and live wrong. When, by the Word and the Spirit of God, we get our thinking right, then the rest of us will get right as well.
The common characteristic of the people of this world is that they are self-centered. They face every decision and issue with “What will this do for me? What will I get out of this?” When your mind is renewed, you are God-centered. You don’t approach situations and decisions like the world. You say, “What will God get out of this? What is the will of God? Will this glorify God?”
So we’re to give our bodies and our minds to God. And if we truly do that, notice what will happen at the end of verse 2. The best translation of it in my opinion is, “so that you may test and approve what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” I hear Paul to be saying that when you let God change the way you think and have your body, you are going to be testing out His will in your life and you’re going to approve of it. You’re going to like it. You’re going to find that God’s will is indeed good and acceptable and perfect. You’re going to start to want what He wants. Your will is going to start becoming the same as God’s. You’re going to start loving what He loves and hating what He hates.
How awesome! When we totally surrender, we will experience the truth of Jesus’ promise, that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. His commands are simply what we would want to do if we were smart enough to want to. His will is good and acceptable and perfect. We will find that life is much better, much more satisfying, when we do it God’s way. But to find that out by experience we’ve got to give God our bodies and let Him change the way we think through His word and His Spirit.
Now, that’s the summary of the logical response to the amazing love of God. The rest of the chapter, actually the rest of the next 3 chapters, are details about how to think and live out God’s will with your body. I’d like to just read through the rest of chapter 12 with some brief comments along the way.
The first thing that’s got to go, as you serve God, is pride. So Romans 12:3 says, “For by the grace given to me [Paul’s referring to his authority as an apostle of Christ to speak for Christ, that’s a grace given to him] I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, as God has apportioned to each a measure of faith. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, 5 so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; 8 the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.”
A couple things I hear Paul saying there:
- Don’t let what God gives you make you prideful or turn you into a religious snob. God gives you your faith and your abilities; without Him we are nobodies. Don’t let those convince you that you are superior to your brothers or sisters or that you don’t need your brothers and sisters. And what God gifts you with is not to draw attention to you or make you admired, it’s so you can serve the body.
- Another thing I hear Paul saying is that if you want to do the will of God you cannot separate yourself from His people, you cannot be a lone ranger. That would be like a detached finger that just wiggles around by itself. It can’t see where it’s going. It can’t hear anything. It can’t put itself into helpful position. A finger needs to be attached to a hand and arm and body to be useful. You’ve got to be connected to the body and interacting with the other members in order to be useful.
9 Let love be genuine. It’s so easy for us to fall into showing love to people for something in return, out of a bit of self-interest. We need to grow into loving God and people genuinely, for nothing in return.
Abhor what is evil. This is what will happen when we let God change how we think. We start to understand more and more why God abhors sin and how it grieves Him and we will abhor it too. We will no longer laugh at it. We will no longer watch it for entertainment. We will no longer get as close as we can without crossing the line. We will want to be a long way away from it. We will abhor it.
Hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. You want to show God how much you appreciate His love and how much you love Him? Love His people. What you do to them Jesus takes as though you did it for Him.
Outdo one another in showing honor. So here’s a crazy competition that is to be going on between me and you and you and the others here. We’re to try to outdo one another in showing honor. You compliment me, I compliment you more. You take me out to lunch, I come help you with a project at your house. You offer to watch my kids so Ally and I can go out on a date, I’ll take care of your pets while you’re on vacation. You bring me a load of fire wood, I fix your fence. Wouldn’t that be crazy? We’re supposed to be crazy like that, not conformed to the world.
11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Don’t be lazy in doing these things.
12 Rejoice in hope [keep reminding yourself of what’s in store for us in the future and savor it and rejoice in it], be patient in tribulation [don’t give up, don’t give in], be constant in prayer.
13 Contribute to the needs of the saints [whenever you find a need and you have the resources to meet that need, God wants you to meet it] and seek to show hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Talk about being not conformed to the world. That’s crazy. People call you filthy names, flip you off, damage your property. You say I wish the best for you, my friend. How can I help you? How can I take some of your burden? Can I pray for you? Respond to mean people with the opposite spirit.
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. That one’s convicting to me. I’m more at the point where I often smile with those who rejoice. And say, “Ah bummer,” with those who weep. I’m not as compassionate and empathetic as I should be… praying God will soften my heart and help in that.
16 Live in harmony with one another. [How do I do that?] Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. You know we really are supposed to care about what other people will think about what we do. Now, we should never let what people may think of us keep us from obeying God in some way. But as long as it will not cause us to disobey God, we should strive to do what people will think is honorable. That has application to so many things: how we dress, the language we use, how we keep our yard, our manners at the table, it even has application to wearing masks. Try to do what is honorable in the sight of people around you. Paul says, “I make myself a slave to all.” I don’t just please myself, I think about how other people feel and I do what’s honorable in their sight.
18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” What a powerful promise. Literally give place for the wrath of God or leave room for the wrath of God… If you avenge yourself, you are not leaving room for God to act in the situation. But if you choose not to avenge yourself, God will avenge you. There’s a Christian man I know in town, and he was telling me a story about how he was majorly wronged financially by somebody. I don’t remember all the details, but he was big-time financially wronged and he was very tempted to take this guy to court and sue him for everything he had… But a brother at church showed him this passage and this passage convinced him not to do that. So he just forgave the man and didn’t sue him. And he said that over the next year or two, he watched that man experience one financial catastrophe after another; like he had these big shops or barns or something full of a bunch of stuff and they burned to the ground. And he said he became absolutely convinced this is true: you don’t avenge yourself and God will. So that should free us from ever trying to get even with people.
20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” They will feel such shame over how they’ve treated you, and their hearts will change toward you. Paul summarizes it saying, “Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.” Don’t let their evil make you spiteful and vengeful, but overcome the evil in them with good. I believe goodness, love in action, is the only thing powerful enough to overcome evil people. That’s how God has changed our hearts, by loving us when we didn’t love Him.
So the Lord Jesus says to you once again this morning, “I really love you. I’ve given my body for you. And I want to do life with you and be with you and love you forever.” Don’t break His heart and say, “Thanks!” or “I’ll hang out on Sundays with you.” Say, “Here’s my body, my King, my Savior. Here’s my mind, teach me, change me.” Memorize these words and do these things with your body. And you will make His heart glad and you will find that His will is good and delightful and perfect. You will become who God created you to be.
-James Williams